Life on Abram Lake

With the biggest grin plastered on his face, Henry skis towards me. His small body is clad in a bright blue one-piece MEC rainsuit and his downhill ski boots reach almost to his knees. His miniature Rossignol skis match his orange and grey helmet that squishes his adorable cheeks into a chipmunk smile. His arms are outstretched, reaching towards me and in his right hand, he clutches a brightly coloured Mexican maraca.

He is my skiing baby.

At the top of the mountain

Now, being famous on the Dryden ski hill is one thing, but to be a skiing baby celebrity on a big West Coast Mountain is entirely another. And man, was Blake proud!

A beautiful sunny, spring day of skiing!

Skiing with Dad

Big mountain skiing!

On the magic carpet

In the Village

My babies and I

My skiing boys

Only a few days old

A few months old

Watching skiing during lunch

Watching the day’s skiing replay before bed

At first, Blake or I would run along with Henry, clutching his orange snowsuit, trying to keep his wobbly legs from collapsing under him and steering him clear or the trees that lined Henry’s ski run along the side of our house. Then, over the next few weeks, without any instruction from Blake nor I, Henry began to ski completely on his own. He also figured out how to turn on his own, snowplow to slow down, stop at the end of the run and get going when he was ready at the top of the hill. 

It was pretty astonishing how quickly he picked it up and how much he loved to ski! Almost every day, he would run to the door, grab his ski boots and yell, ‘SKIINGGGGGGG!!!!!’. 

My skiing cutie

Skiing with Grandma and Grandpa

Endlessly playing with his ski boots

Taking a tumble!

In February, we drove an hour and a half to the nearest ski hill in Dryden, Ontario. Calling the gentle slope a ski hill is actualy pretty generous, but to Henry, it was his big ski debut. Up the rope-tow he went with Blake and then bombed it down the hill with a huge grin on his face. People were astonished that he was skiing independently at 16 months – he was even featured on the Dryden Ski Club’s Facebook page as the youngest skier to grace their slopes.

On the Dryden ski hill

Getting ready to hit the Dryden slopes

Henry, Alice as the bump at 39 weeks and I

Going up the tow rope

At the Dryden hill with Alice who was a week old

With Karla and Sailor at the ski hill

Family ski day!

Henry skiing at our house – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0c73v19IoI

Blake and Henry ‘skiing’! https://youtu.be/xgdE9bMlNKI

On the five-hour car ride to Winnipeg

At the airport in Winnipeg – it was a challenge to keep Henry from not getting into everything!

Going through security

Giving the bear a hug

On the flight to Kelowna – both kids were fantastic. Alice slept the whole way!

Watching ski movies on the plane

Alice meeting Auntie Jade

On the gondola – Henry loved it!

Checking out the kids store at the Village

Alice and I having a coffee in the Village

Heading up to the Village for dinner. We hired a babysitter for Henry and Jade drove up from Kelowna to visit. We were deteremined to go out for a fancy dinner. Alice had other ideas though – she cried the whole time and so we took turns walking around with her on the sled trying to get her to sleep. Ugh. I ended up eating my expensive steak dinner cold. Le sigh. At least we tried!!

Since we had the babysitter until 11pm, we were determined to stay out until then. So after dinner we went to the local pub which had a sign on the door that said, ‘Children welcome until 8pm’! Ooops! No one said anything…

Alice, Henry and I out for a walk

Henry and his buddy Ever watching out the window for groomers, skiiers etc.

Getting ready to go out skiing!

Henry and Ever – such sweeties!

On the magic carpet

Blake, Henry, Ever and Zoe

Fueling up for another afternoon of skiing!

Ever, Alice and Zoe

Ever loved Alice! So cute!

Aw! Ever and Henry hugging it out!

She’s a natural – look how she’s holding Alice’s head. So cute.

So many babies!

Riding the gondola

Thanks Ever and Zoe for driving from Salmon Arm to visit us on the hill!!!

Having a bath! They are so much bigger than last year when they had their first bath together…

March 2015 – Ever and Henry in the bath

Alice, Henry and I in the gondola. When Blake would go skiing, we would ride the gondola up and down. It was great entertainment and I didn’t have to chase Henry!

Henry at the outdoor patio, relaxing and having an apres-ski beer!

Henry and Blake in the Village

Chubby Alice and the boys having their lunch in the background

My babies

Giving Alice some love. So sweet!

Henry ready for his beer which he calls ‘juice’! He loves beer!

My babies and I

In the few days since being home, our snow has melted and Henry’s skis have been put away on the rack in the garage. Henry, however, has already moved on to his next obsession – biking.

Blake and I still aren’t sure where Henry even got the idea of biking, but over the past week, Henry gets out of bed and immediately demands to go outside and go biking. Blake found a used ‘run bike’ (without petals) and Henry has taken a KEEN liking to it. In fact, yesterday, I spent four straight hours with Henry outside while he biked and today, despite very cool temperatures and pouring rain, Henry insisted on spending the morning, soaked, biking around the yard. There is no stopping this child! No matter how often or how hard he falls, he is never deterred. He just picks himself up, brushes his hands off and gets back onto his bike. I, on the other hand, am having a hard time letting him bail but Blake keeps reminding me to stop being a ‘helicopter parent’ and let him learn!

Falling…

…and getting back up!

So, much to Blake’s delight, Henry is shaping up to be a future mountain man – downhill skiing in the winter, and mountain biking in the summer.

Anyway, despite the challenges of having a demanding newborn, we are really enjoying our time together at home as a family. Henry is learning new words every day and is keeping us endlessly entertained. Alice is growing like crazy and still keeping me up all night. Now that she is smiling, it has made the sleep deprivation somewhat more manageable, but generally, it is still pretty rough. She has a fiery temper, especially when she loses her soother. So I spend the majority of the night with one hand draped over the edge of the bed, replacing her soother ten times an hour. UGH!

The other hard part I am finding is the shift in my relationship with Henry. Interestingly, when I was worrying about how Henry would adjust to when Alice was born, I was always thinking about how he would react without so much ‘Mama time’. I never anticipated, however, how much I would miss my previous relationship with Henry. I am home 100% of the time now, but I actually feel like I ‘see’ Henry less. I used to get up with Henry every morning and eat breakfast with just the two of us before going to work.  After work, I was always was the one to put Henry to bed. Now, I am around, but I am constantly trying to soothe Alice, nurse Alice, etc. etc. Blake is fantastic with Henry but isn’t too keen on the baby thing so that leaves all of Alice’s care to me which is, as you know, every minute of every day and night. I rarely get any alone time with Henry and so I definitely miss Henry more than he misses me! He has adjusted just fine!

Well, here’s hoping the nights get better and the weather keeps getting warmer in our neck of the woods!

So many little ones on the bed!

Henry and Alice on my lap on the rocking chair

Bright eyes

Getting so big!

Darling little toes!

Watching the Jays game. Henry chants ‘Go Jays Go!’ with Dad.

Alice at her first medical staff meeting

Finally smiling! It makes a huge difference after those long nights!

Haha Henry!

Playing with Hunter in the big puddles

Springtime!

Alice snoozing in the Chariot after our walk

Time is flying!

Henry giving Ada a hug

Learning about the potty

Alice is freakishly strong – she started consistently rolling from front to back at 5 weeks old! Usually this is a three-month milestone…!

Playing in the last of the snow

Pushing both babies on our walk

At the grocery store with both of these munchkins!

Henry playing at the Hub

Drinking his milk

Milk drunk!

Snuggling in the sun

Smiling!

Out of the silence, a tiny wail erupts from the bassinet beside the bed. Gritting my teeth, I breathe deeply, fighting the urge to yank the pillow over my head and ignore the newborn cries. Throwing back the blankets, I drag myself out of bed for the umpteenth time that night. The clock on the bedside table glares an angry red. 2:50am. Ugh. Alice has been asleep in the bassinet for a grand total of 13 minutes. 13 minutes!!!

This darling face

Sleeping soundly – if someone is holding her!

Her first bath

When she was just over a week old

Snoozing in the dreaded bassinet

Getting chubby!

Henry testing out the bassinet – he approves!

Henry helping out with Alice

How could this sweet face be so much trouble!

Blake and Henry watching ski movies before bed

Henry and his many books

Snuggling with Dad

Poor Ada – she’s over-run with babies!

Going down his slide

Still so much snow!

A PJ day

Hunter, Brooks, Blake and Henry climbing the wall in Henry’s room

Enjoying the sunshine

Out for a walk with my friend Lianne who is a superstar – she pulled Henry, carried her two-year old, Simon, and she is 24 weeks pregnant!

Playing endlessly in the yard

Checking out Hunter’s ATV

Making sure Sailor (who was asleep in her stroller) is ok!

With Auntie Reilly in Henry’s push car

Out for a walk in the sunshine on the ice

Alice and I on the ice

Wishing for summer…

Family outing to Cedar Bay stables

Alice and I out for a run

Henry opening his Easter gift from his Nana and Poppa

Baby Alice and the beautiful sweater that my sister Leah knit

With Ada

Blake’s solution to a crying baby…

Henry checking on Alice

Giving her a push

Easter cookies!

Playing with his choo-choos

Easter brunch with his girlfriend Sailor

Happy Easter!!

What a cute little bunny!

Alice is the ideal running buddy 🙂

Wine and soothers – at a friend’s potluck

With rain falling on the red pines, an envelope of fog obscures the view beyond the tall trees lining our shoreline. From the french doors in our bedroom, grey light fills the room. CBC Radio 2 plays softly in the kitchen. A cup of coffee sits at my bedside table. It is a blissfully peaceful morning.

Beside me, our baby girl sleeps soundly, as newborns do. Her perfect lips are pouted into a kiss, her long fingers lay relaxed against her body and her delicately fine eyelashes are barely visible against her fair skin. I am totally in love. The wait was definitely worth it!

Alice Harriet Van Winckle charged her way into the world on March 5th at 7:17pm. She was stubborn to get going, but when she decided it was her time to arrive, boy was she in a hurry!

Unlike the end of my pregnancy with Henry, this time around, I had the sense that I was going to go into labour early and had booked my last full week of clinical work at 37 weeks. After that, I only did a few teaching sessions a week up until my due date. Once my due date came and went, my bewilderment at still being pregnant rose. I had never mentally prepared for being overdue! In retrospect, it was a wonderful thing as I had almost three full weeks off to enjoy Henry, be at home with Blake and to prepare myself for Alice’s arrival. At the time, though, as any heavily pregnant woman can attest, I was mentally done with carrying around this tight basketball of a belly and was determined to get myself into labour.

Of course, Alice had other ideas.

If you ask any midwife or maternity health care provider ways in which one can kickstart labour, many age-old options will be presented. Some do actually have evidence behind them, while others have been used for centuries and are backed by anecdotal and variable stories of efficacy.

Here are some on the list:
1. Castor oil
2. Having sex
3. Eating spicy food
4. Driving on bumpy roads
5. Walking, walking, walking
6. Membrane sweep/stretch and sweep

I had already been out daily for hour-long snowshoe treks across the frozen lake for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, Blake was heavily dosing my dinners with Siracha sauce and I had been attended by my dear friend and physician, Lianne for regular cervical sweeps. These efforts had been met with variable success – at 40 weeks, twice I had had nights where I had been awakened by regular contractions, but each time, by sunrise, they had spaced out and stopped altogether.

Snowshoeing with Henry at 40weeks pregnant

At 40weeks and 3days, I was getting desperate. At the advice of my lovely midwifery girlfriends Amanda and Christine, I went out and bought two bottles of castor oil – something I never, ever thought I would do!

For those who don’t know, castor oil is a laxative that has been used for decades by midwives to induce labour. The idea is that it causes smooth muscle irritation, leading to diarrhea then indirectly causing uterine irritability and, hopefully, labour. My association with castor oil however, comes from my late Grandpa Sprague who was given it when he was a child. He always joked that if he took his castor oil, he was rewarded with Spumoni ice cream – his favourite!

Committed to getting my labour started, I armed myself with chocolate milk, castor oil, Gravol and Immodium.  In order to increase the chances of this concoction working, Blake and I enlisted our friends to recreate the same scenario of when I went into labour with Henry – dinner out at one of the local restaurants followed by drinks and darts at the local Legion 🙂

While Henry’s favourite babysitter, Blythe put Henry to bed, I chugged back a sickly mixture of chocolate milk and castor oil. Ugh. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get the taste out of my memory. As my girlfriend Christine described it, it is like drinking a melted, unflavoured Chapstick. Blech! Then off we went to dinner where Blake, committed to his role in this endeavour, promptly started ordering double Rum and Cokes. This was going to be an interesting night!

Hours later, we were having a great evening with our friends and everything was going to plan, except no labour pains! How could this be?! By midnight, we had played shuffleboard, darts and Blake was definitely drunk. It was exactly the same scenario as when I went into labour with Henry, but alas, Alice was not keen on cooperating. Eventually, we went home, deeming the castor oil to be a complete failure.

The next day, I met up with my doctor Lianne, at the hospital. After some discussion, Lianne agreed to induce me with a gel that commonly is used to soften the cervix and get labour going. Within 30 minutes of being ‘gelled’, I knew that FINALLY we were getting somewhere! It was a bright, sunny beautiful spring day. A perfect day for a baby to be born 🙂

I drove home from the hospital shortly after 3pm and by the time I arrived home, I was already pretty uncomfortable with regular cramping. My friend Catherine and Meghan, my brother John’s partner, met me at home. Seeing how uncomfortable I was already, Blake made the executive decision to head into town to Cat’s house which was much closer to the hospital. We called Blythe and within a few minutes she arrived to take care of Henry (she’s amazing!) and off we went into town.

Anxious to keep my contractions going, we walked around outside in the beautiful sunshine for quite awhile before I started to get tired. By 5pm, I was ready for a break and got into Cat and Caleb’s tub. It was heavenly to be in the warm water with music playing – so relaxing that my contractions started to space out!! I couldn’t believe it!! This baby was such a trickster.

So, out of the tub I got and up and about the house I walked. Blake and I even arm-wrestled (while he ate his pizza) to try to get things going again. At 6:30pm, my contractions had completely stopped. I was so disappointed. I got my jacket on and was about to leave to get home to Henry, when my brother John who had a night shift at the hospital at 7:30pm said, “sit down for ten more minutes until I have to go to work”.

This was the most serendipitous thing that he could’ve have said!

I sat back down and within a couple of minutes, out of nowhere, my water broke! It was 6:50pm.  I jumped up in surprise, my pants and socks drenched. I remember Cat trying to hand me a tea towel before running upstairs to get me a change of clothes. Blake, had another agenda. “In the car, now!”, he ordered. Knowing how quick my last labour was, thank goodness he was on top of things. I managed to get out the door with a towel, one sock and boots undone. “This is where things get crazy”, I remember Blake saying to Meghan who was in the back seat. He was right. Instantly, I was floored with VERY, very strong contractions. I begged Blake to step on the gas while texting my MD, Lianne with the news.

Within minutes, we had arrived at the hospital and I had been ushered into a Labour and Delivery room. When the nurse checked me, I was only 4cm. I couldn’t believe it. My contractions were so strong, I definitely had thought I was further along. At this time, I was beside myself with the pain. I couldn’t lie still as the nurses tried to monitor the baby and start an IV. I was being a terrible patient for my colleagues!

Apparently, I had reason to be yelling out in pain since, within a few minutes, I had progressed to 7cm and was fighting a very strong urge to push. Catherine and Meghan were at my side trying to keep me calm. Blake, meanwhile was in the hall with his ‘male doula’ and good friend Caleb, as well as my brother, John. He was texting my doctor, Lianne with updates, as she, unbeknownst to us, was driving like a drag-car racer through our small town trying to get to the hospital.

Luckily, Lianne made it in the nick of time. With my next contraction, my body took over and began to push. Things were happening so quickly and I was completely unaware of what was going on around me. I tried to focus on Lianne’s voice as she directed me through the final stages of Alice’s birth.

Within a few minutes of pushing, Alice had made her grand entrance into the world. From start to finish, my labour had only been about 30 minutes long.  As Lianne placed the squirming baby on my belly, she exclaimed, “It’s a girl!”.  I held her tiny body on my chest and stared up at the faces around me in disbelief. A girl! Meghan, Cat, Lianne, and my amazing nurses Hannah and Kim were all cheering. I cannot begin to describe the sense of joy and relief that it was all over.

John cut the cord and soon thereafter, I was nursing Alice while sipping my celebratory chocolate milk. Blake and Caleb toasted each other with scotch in the corner of the delivery room. Over the next hour or so, we celebrated, chatted, took pictures and cooed over baby Alice.

As someone who provides maternity care to First Nations women from remote fly-in communities, where more often than not, women are delivering their babies away from home, without their partners, families or friends, the warmth, love and support that I felt in that delivery room was not taken for granted. I am truly beyond fortunate to have been able to bring two babies into the world in a country with free medical care, in a town where people are constantly going out of their way to help and in a community hospital, where the care is exceptional and even the cleaning staff recognize you and congratulate you!

Since being home, we have spent a blissful few days hibernating. I am doing my best to soak Alice’s newness all in and to cherish the cuddles, the smells and the adorable facial expressions. We are all adjusting to the changes around our house and so far things are going fairly well! Henry is still attending daycare in the mornings and we have tried to keep Henry’s routine more or less the same. Blake has stepped up to the plate in a huge way and has been doing the bulk of Henry’s care – getting up in the morning, feeding him, keeping him happy, taking him to daycare, etc. This has been a huge relief for me as I was previously so anxious about how I would manage to care for two babies at once! Interestingly, Henry has become less clingy with me and hasn’t seemed to really take notice of Alice’s new place in the family. He has been giving her lots of hugs and kisses, as well as very aggressive ‘pats’ on the head, pokes to the eyes and ear pulls. She’s going to grow up to be a very tough lady 🙂

We have also been so blessed to have fabulous friends and family who have helped us tremendously this week. A special shout out goes to Meghan and John who have brought us food, flowers, ice cream and who have helped out with Henry too. It’s been so lovely to have them here in Sioux Lookout.

Thanks as well to everyone who has supported and congratulated us virtually by email, Skype, FaceTime, Facebook and phone.  It means a great deal to us and we hope that you’ll continue to follow our chaos and adventures in the North with now four in the canoe!

Just after Alice was born

Admiring our new baby girl!

So glad that was over with!!!

7lbs 13 oz

Dad snuggling Alice

Waking up the next morning to this beautiful face

With Henry, I went home from the hospital within a few hours. This time around, I stayed for 24hrs just to get a little bit of a break! Blake was super helpful and took care of Henry, bringing him back and forth from to the hospital in between naps to visit.

I spent all day just snuggling and resting at the hospital.

A quiet day of snuggling

Henry and Blake coming to visit Alice and I in the hospital the next morning…

Henry was more interested in his snacks than his new baby sister!

And wanted to play with her bassinet rather than hang out with the baby 🙂

My babies!

Pretty happy!

My dear friend and physician extraordinaire, Lianne

Cat snuggling Alice when she came to visit us at the hospital.

Day 1 of life – I just couldn’t believe that Alice was finally here!

Bright eyes

Getting ready to go home

First family selfie 🙂

The hospital room whiteboard

Home with Alice

Lounging on her fleece in the afternoon sun

With her Auntie Meghan and Uncle John

Snuggling with Auntie Meghan

Henry playing with Sailor and Hunter

Smoothie time! Henry is adamant to feed himself these days. He sometimes gets his smoothie into his mouth…!!

Sailor enjoyed Henrys’ smoothie too!

So sweet! So much pink! 🙂

Henry trying to share his toy with ‘Baby’

Babywearing!

Simon, Lianne’s youngest, meeting baby Alice

Henry, Jesse, Simon and Lianne with Alice

Jesse and Simon 🙂

The boys eat breakfast while Alice and I snuggle on the couch

Cat getting Alice ready for her first walk outside

All snuggled up!

Henry and Alice having breakfast together 🙂

My first outing with Henry and Alice on my own – we went to the Hub. I now am in astonishment that mothers of two little ones ever get out of the house. I think it took me at least two hours to get out the door!

Alice at the Hub – Vicki the manager, held her while she slept so that I could play with Henry.

Our first family outing – we went to Dryden on Alice’s 1st week birthday to take Henry skiing. It was a beautiful sunny day. We all had a lovely time and Henry got one last day of Spring skiing in before all the snow melted!

Alice, Henry and I. As soon as Henry got on the hill, everyone seemed to recognize and know him! Apparently, Henry is now famous at the Dryden ski hill! haha

Alice and I watching Henry and Blake from the window

Our superstar skiier. He had so much fun!

Of course Blake took him off the jump which he loved. He had the biggest grin on his face at the bottom of the hill!

What a beautiful day!

Grocery shopping in Dryden

Henry ordering his Starbucks coffee to go 🙂

One week old already!

Henry giving Alice a kiss!

Our two little redheads!

Henry reading to Alice

Such a sweetie!

Henry and I splashing in the spring puddles!

My cuties!

Alice meeting her Auntie Megan

Alice and Uncle John

Spring has sprung! And we have an escape artist on our hands!

I can’t believe it, but I’ve almost made it to my due date. With only 4 more days to go, my nesting urges have gone into high gear. This week I have officially started my mat leave and so I’ve been at home and feel very oddly about having ‘free time’. I know that I am supposed to relax and catch up on sleep, but most of you who know me know that I have a ‘problem’ when it comes to doing just that. Instead, I have washed the floor no less than three times in a 5 day span and spent the entire morning cleaning the house. Again. To my credit, I did manage to make myself nap one afternoon while Henry was asleep and I have been out enjoying the beautiful weather snowshoeing on the lake with Ada. I even spent an afternoon reading on the couch!

Snowshoeing on the lake with the baby bump!

Boy vs. girl!??! To be determined…

I packed one of each in my hospital bag 🙂

Having a week off though has meant that Blake and I have been able to spend some time time together without Henry while he has been in daycare in the mornings. We even went out for coffee by ourselves! It’s also been fun to be at home with Blake and Henry and see what mischief they usually get up to when I’m at work.

Blake and Henry’s activities include:
1. Swinging in the Jolly Jumper harness
2. Blake throwing Henry around, doing flips on the couch, etc.
3. Henry zipping across the length of our house on his zipline – again, made with the Jolly Jumper harness and some rope
4. Watching ski videos which Henry loves and routinely asks for
5. Making smoothies together (while Henry sits in his high chair yelling for bananas and blueberries!)
6. And of course, skiing. Skiing, skiing, skiing.

Henry and Blake eating lunch and watching ski movies

Ziplining…!

As most of you know, Blake’s whole being and identity is wrapped up in skiing. He watches ski videos daily and is continuously planning ski vacations. So, it’s no surprise that as soon as Henry could walk, Blake rented him a pair of skis and got him out there regardless of the chilly January and February weather.

At first, Henry would ski down our footpath towards the lake while Blake or I hung onto his snowsuit. Quickly though, Henry picked it up and soon was going down the length of the path by himself. Then, without us teaching him, Henry figured out how to start on his own when he was ready at the top of the hill, turn and then stop himself by snowplowing at the end of the run! Both Blake and I were pretty amazed.

Blake showing Henry his instant replay  of his run 🙂

These days, if Blake even heads towards the door, Henry jumps up and follows him yelling SKI! SKI! He will pick up his ski boots and spend a great deal of time putting them on and off by himself in the foyer. He truly does love it and although he has taken some pretty hard wipeouts, he always is smiling when he’s outside skiing down the path. It’s so fun to watch.

Here is a link to a short video of Henry that we took yesterday!
https://goo.gl/photos/PrpFpEWjmNTsrqnU6

Well, I do hope that my next blog is about baby’s arrival! I’m getting worried that he or she is just too comfy in there 🙂

Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks, as well as my girls weekend/baby shower in Kenora!

Always helping Mom

First morning of daycare. I was SO SO nervous! Thankfully, I had to work so Blake had to drop him off. I would’ve been a mess otherwise! He did great though and is adapting quickly to his new morning routine. He is now attending a private daycare three mornings a week.

Henry loves to get into my drawers. The other day, I caught him in my underwear drawer, pulling them out and putting them on like necklaces! Hahah

Very pretty Henry!

While I cook, Henry is always into the drawers in the kitchen. He especially likes the potatoes – he pulls them out yelling ‘BALL!’ and throws them around!

Henry, the bump and I out for a snowshoe on the lake

He looks pretty cozy!

This sounds so silly, but so many times a day I look at this face and wonder how I could possibly love this child any more than I do.

Playing with his cars that he calls “Vroom, vrooms!”

Ha! Too bad that he’s moving in the picture, but I caught him chilling out in his megablocks cart. Just leaning back and sucking his thumb 🙂

Having a  snack… putting his goldfish onto his car first, before eating them.

When Grandpa and Grandma were here, they put out suet for the chickadees. The birds finally discovered it and Henry just loves watching the feeder.

Playing with his ‘choo choos’

Hard at work at the library

The bump, Henry and I out for a walk on the lake at 39weeks pregnant

Henry loves to do anything that Dad does – like sit on the ATV!

Henry is becoming more and more independent these days. He is not keen on being fed anymore and will insist on using his spoon or fork which he is getting better and better at doing.

The little climber has recently taught himself how to climb up and down the dinning room chairs. He also climbs up and over our coffee table and tries to climb up any shelf that is available. Yikes!

Trying to be like the big boys next door!

On Brooks’ GT snow racer

For my baby shower, my good friends Megan, Catherine, Reilly, Gabby and Meghan took me to Kenora for the weekend! It was great! We went to the salon and all got pedicures…

Meghan getting pampered

Our pretty toes, bump included!

At the spa which we had all to ourselves, getting our nails done and eating cupcakes!

Megan’s cupcake-eating technique

After our afternoon at the spa, we went out for a delicious dinner, then crashed at our B&B which was a giant victorian home. As girls do, we piled onto the four-post bed, ate more cupcakes and watched the movie “Chocolat” 🙂

Endless cupcakes!

A tough day of being pampered!

In the morning, I woke up and had the most lovely, quiet bubble bath in the claw-foot tub!

The bump and I enjoying some peace and quiet.

Heavenly! And of course, more cupcakes.

Having a lovely morning at the B&B, being serenaded by Reilly playing the piano and drinking coffee

The ever talented Reilly and Cat, her page-turning assistant 🙂

In the darkness of the nursery, I press my feet against the floor, rocking slowing in the oak rocking chair. It’s 3am. I lean my head back against the hard back of the chair and listen to Henry as he drinks his bottle. His head, as usual, is nestled into the crook of my left arm, while his body curls around my protruding 36-week baby bump.

It seems that most of my time for reflection over the past 15months has happened in this chair, in the darkness, in the wee hours of the morning. Tonight is no different. The little life inside me squirms and kicks, pressing up against Henry’s body. I wonder if he can feel it. My mind starts to wander to life after this little one’s journey to the other side. How am I possibly going to cope through the nights with two waking babies?! It seems like a tremendously impossible task, and to be truthful, I am terrified.

My pregnancy has flown by. I feel like I hardly even acknowledged that it was happening until the heartburn, back aches and constant squirming were too frequent to ignore. It has been such a different experience this time around. With Henry, throughout my pregnancy, I knew to the day how far along I was. Every week, I Googled how big my growing baby was compared to various fruits and vegetables (i.e. Your baby is as big as a honeydew melon!). I compared my baby bump to other women’s, obsessing over it’s size (i.e. I’m huge!). I fantasized about what the baby would look like, what it’s personality would be like, who he or she would grow up to be, etc.

This time around, despite the fact that my bump is impossible to disregard, I feel like I haven’t yet fully grasped that this is actually happening and that in a few short weeks, I will be mother to TWO babies under a year and a half!

Brushing our teeth!

Over the past week or so, my anxiety about exactly this has mounted, resulting in 4am To-Do Lists and nesting urges. Since the new baby will not have a room of it’s own, today, I felt marginally better after purging my clothes to make room in my dresser for neatly stacked newborn diapers and swaddling blankets. While, folding up tiny newborn sleepers, I finally felt a twinge of excitement! A new adventure, soon to begin 🙂

One of my biggest apprehensions has been that with a newborn on the scene, I won’t have enough time nor energy to devote to Henry who is increasingly a going concern. Over the past month, he has continued to change and grow. Since his walking debut on Christmas Day, he has steadily become more and more agile. It took him a week to truly get going, and now, there is no stopping him! He is as busy as ever and loves to ‘run’ with Dad, attempt to jump up and down, do (Henry’s version of) somersaults on his mat, kick a ball around the house, climb up and slide down the stairs, as well as the usual getting into every drawer and cupboard in the house.

Playing with his train set from my sister, Leah

I’ve noticed even more leaps in his language skills over these past weeks too. It has become quite helpful now that he can communicate his needs (i.e. “all done”, “more”, “bobble” aka bottle”, “fleece” aka I need a nap with his treasured lambskin, etc.). Every week, I find he is adding more and more to his vocabulary. Although his articulation is still not there yet obviously, he has lots to say!

He also loves to read and will bring you a book, plop himself down on your lap and ‘read to you’, which in his version of the story involves sounds that animals make (i.e. neigh for horse, quack for duck, grrrrr for bear, woo woo for dog, etc). and actions (i.e. he will sniff the page if there is a picture of a flower, kick his feet up in the air if there is a picture of toes, etc.). It’s super cute!

Much to Blake’s happiness, Henry has also become very excited about skiing. Since renting him little ski boots and downhill skis, Henry and Blake have been out, even in the coldest of weather, skiing down the path at the side of our house. Henry will often run over to the foyer, find his ski boots and yell ‘SKI!’, while trying to put his boots on himself 🙂

Skiing down the path

Blake came and picked me up from work one day, and Henry still had his ski boots on in the car 🙂

Unfortunately though, it always seems that Henry gets sick as soon as Blake is away. Recently, Blake drove out to BC for two and a half weeks of skiing. His last big trip and ski adventure before baby #2 arrives. I had been working like crazy up until he left, then had been preparing and packing for our last trip North before the start of my maternity leave. I was truly beyond exhausted and stressed about going North. Being in a medical profession isn’t always helpful and I had been imagining various scenarios of being 35 weeks pregnant, in a fly-in nursing station, hundreds of kilometers away from anything, and knowing that my labour probably wouldn’t allow me time to get to a hospital by plane in any timely manner.

To make matters worse, on the Sunday before our departure, Henry awoke from his nap and promptly started vomiting every 15 minutes for the next few hours. It was terrible. At one point, my good friend Megan came by to help me out and found me standing there in a sports bra and PJ pants, with a pukey baby, piles of pukey laundry and me in tears. Not our best moment. As I was alone and hadn’t been able to finish packing or been able to put Henry down all afternoon/evening, and at 10pm, I emailed my medical director with the decision to cancel my North trip all together. I just couldn’t do it. I instantly felt much better. I had definitely underestimated how anxious and stressed I had been about going North this time around!

A very sad Henry

The next day, my Mom joined us in Sioux Lookout. She had been planning on accompanying us to Neskantaga and was a great sport about jumping on a 5-hour bus from Thunder Bay to Sioux Lookout instead. I was so relieved to have her arrive. For the rest of the week, I saw as many patients as I could by videoconference from the hospital, while Mom and Henry hung out at home. Despite having Mom there, it was still a worrisome week for me as Henry, who had previously been a fabulous eater, refused pretty much all solid food. He even turned his face away from blueberries which are his favourite!

Again, being in physician is not always helpful and throughout the week, I swung back and forth between minimizing his symptoms and thinking of the worst possible diagnosis that could explain his acute food refusal and strange coloured poops. In the end, all of my worrying was thankfully for nothing and on the day I had finally decided to bring him to see a colleague  in the ER, he ate a full breakfast, lunch and dinner. I could have cried I was so relieved!

With Henry back to his normal self, and a week of Mom and Dad with us in Sioux Lookout, I am truly starting to get excited about the next few weeks. Some big changes are about to happen to our little family – Blake will hopefully return home happy and rejuvenated, Henry will start daycare next week, I will finish my last full week of work and soon, very soon, we will be a family of FOUR!

As always, thanks for your love and support and here’s hoping I can find the time continue this blog after baby’s arrival 🙂

Here are some pictures of Mom & Dad’s visit in Sioux Lookout over the past two weeks.

Dad and John go fat biking

Henry just loves the guitar

Kisses for Uncle Johnny!

Time for bed!

Mom snowshoeing across the lake with Henry in tow

He liked it so much that he fell asleep 🙂

Out for Saturday breakfast at the Wellington

More train track building

Dad making the pizza dough for the Friday night cook-off

Friday night pizza cook-off between Dad and Meghan

Yum!

Daily sled rides in the afternoon with Mom & Dad

Jammin’ with Dad

Everyone must wake up bright and early when this guy is around!

Building towers with Mom

Uncle Johnny building the ultimate track

Dad and Henry dancing!

Enjoying the bright sun with Mom

Walking all on his own outside in the snow

At the Hub with Mom

Henry’s favourite – the slide! Yes, he’s ditched his pants. Playing is much better pants-free 🙂

Can’t get enough of the trains!

Snowshoeing with Mom & Henry

Mom doing the work on the way home

A beautiful wintery day

Working on the Dukey Blues

Hunter and Sailor visiting

Uncle Johnny playing Henry a bedtime tune

Henry’s very lucky to have great grandparents – on both sides!

After a busy week working through Christmas, I had the joy of being home for a week for New Years. Blake, Henry and I stayed put for most of the week to relax at home. It was nice just to be able to hang out with Henry and do day-to-day things with him.

Minus 30 temperatures aren’t slowing us down!

At the library, just after Christmas

Henry’s puppet show 🙂

Henry’s favourite new place to play – in the shower!

Henry on my back…

… baby on board on the front!

Henry has taken on a new interest in ‘helping’ me with household chores

He loves to mop…

…and sweep!

He is also obsessed with the laundry machine and dryer. He spends quite a lot of time pressing the buttons and opening and closing the door!

With my friend Lianne and her little guy Simon

Brrrrr!!!

Concentrating on his puzzle

Playing at the ‘Hub

At the library with Auntie Meghan

What a goofball

Giving Meghan kisses

For New Years, we flew to Toronto for the weekend to celebrate our dear friends’ Emily & Nick’s wedding. Henry stayed with Mom and Dad at Mom’s condo in Toronto, which gave Blake and I a bit of a break. We even went out for dinner, all alone! The wedding itself was lots of fun. Blake and I haven’t been out in quite awhile, so Blake took full advantage and suffered quite a bit the next day 🙂 I on the other hand, had been drinking water all night, so I felt great the day after when we headed over to Dundas to visit my Nana.

It was a quick visit down South, then it was back to work for me!

Here are a few pictures from our snowy January adventures.

Henry reading the safety card prior to departure

With the beautiful bride!

With Emily & Nick!

Too bad we didn’t get a ‘before’ shot while we were still looking put together! This is at 2am and Blake has had just a bit to drink 🙂

At Nana’s in Dundas playing with the Ark – a toy that has been through many generations of kids

Snoozing in the car on the way home to Toronto

Blake and I flew to Thunder Bay and before hitting the road, we stopped at our favourite diner for lunch. Henry kept himself busy by organizing the packages of jam and PB 🙂

Woohoo! At Home Depot!

Back at home, we celebrated Blake’s birthday

Henry got his first haircut!

Henry skiing!

Going for a walk in the sled, ski boots at all

Henry ‘helping’ me unload the diswasher

What a rascal!

Going for a ride on the sled with Uncle Johnny

Uncle John goes WAY faster than Mom!

At the Hub

Henry giving his baby a bottle at the Hub

Snowy landscape from our front yard

Winter baby

Baby bump in front and baby on my back

Our house from the lake

Early morning! Henry is getting used to sitting on my bump!

Auntie Meghan and Ada on the lake

Going for a walk, pulling Henry in the chariot and showing off the bump 🙂

Playing with Auntie Meghan on the swing

Waking up from a nap

Henry snuggling his ‘fleece’

At work, on the Labour and Delivery floor. One of the perks is snuggling newborns while doing paperwork 🙂

This was after being on-call for 72hours for deliveries. I was pretty tired out and Henry ‘hid’ my pager in his Mega Block cart so that I wouldn’t have to answer any more pages 🙂

In the quiet of the falling sun, my boots squeak against the frigid snow. I hold Henry tightly against my body, his face close to mine. His nose and cheeks glow red against his pale skin. We silently watch the sunset casting incredible hues of orange, pink and purple across the frozen white ice.

“Wow”, says Henry, breaking the silence. “Wow… Wow!” His bright eyes fixed on the colours in front of us. I snuggle him closely and laugh. What a gift to see the world from a child’s eyes!

We have truly entered the winter season here on Abram Lake. With temperatures in the -20s, the lake has frozen solid and we were blessed with a very white Christmas. The past few weeks have flown by and I am grateful now for a few days of peace and quiet at home.

Blake, Henry and I went North for the last time in 2015 the week before Christmas. It will be Blake’s last trip to Neskantaga First Nation, as my Mom will come with Henry and I in January. At that time, I will be about 35 weeks along, and I’ve been told by my very lovely Nurse-in-Charge that I am not to come back after that as he does not want to be delivering my baby in the nursing station 🙂

It was a cold week in the North with chilly temperatures and windy days. Unfortunately, Blake and Henry didn’t get to go out much, but we did head over to the Christmas play at the school which was a lot of fun. Henry really enjoyed seeing the other kids and he was certainly a novelty to them, being the only red-head white kid around!

I am sure I have said this before, but although having Blake and Henry with me up North has been challenging, it’s been such a different experience for me as a physician and an outsider working in the community. People, no matter where they come from, who they are or what language they speak love babies! It has been wonderful to be able to interact with patients outside of the clinic where they cuddle Henry up and laugh as he interacts with their kids. I know I am very lucky to have a supportive partner like Blake to enable these experiences to happen. As for the future, we’re still not quite sure how we will return to the North with two kids under two. The enormity of this seems overwhelming although I just can’t quite imagine practicing without serving the remote North… We will see how it all turns out in 2016!

On the plane up to Neskantaga

The Christmas play at the school

Henry joining in with the kids dancing

After our North trip, Christmas preparations began in full-force. I had many ambitious notions of me baking Christmas cookies, sending out Christmas cards and decorating our house. In the end, since I was on Obstetrical call from the 21st until the 24th, then was on-call for the North from the 24th until the 28th, none of these plans came to fruition. Instead, I bought up multiple trays of Christmas cookies from our local market and the tree was the extent of our decorations! Apologies to everyone who didn’t get Christmas cards…

While I attempted to make Christmas cookies…

What a rascal!

The tree is up!

Henry and I were out for a wintery hike on the Cedar Bay trails when…

We ran into these two crazies! Meghan and John were out for a ride on their fat bikes!

Having fun at the library

Henry’s not so much into actually reading the books, but mostly into climbing the shelves…!

Daddy’s daycare! Blake built a ‘swing’ for Henry out of his Jolly Jumper. As usual, I freak out and tell Blake to stop while Henry laughs and laughs.

With lots of help from Meghan, my brother’s wonderful partner, and Blake, we managed to have a delicious Christmas dinner with friends and family. Although it was only on my second Christmas ever away from home, it definitely felt like ‘home’ here on Abram Lake.

Christmas morning – waiting for Dad to wake up.

Henry exploring the presents

Getting right into the Mega Blocks from Nana & Poppa

Henry opening his Christmas stocking from Nana & Poppa while also checking out Dad’s belly button 🙂

Check out your new sweater Henry! Thanks Poppa!

New books!

Family portrait 🙂

The pre-Christmas dinner spread including home-made egg nog and rum

Blake carving up our giant turkey

We had a ton of food – mashed potatoes, yams, roasted brussel sprouts, lamb, grape-leaf wraps, mac & cheese, and of course the turkey and stuffing!

Our biggest Christmas gift came on Christmas morning when Blake told Henry that he’d like for him to walk for his Christmas present. Lo and behold, Henry obliged and took his first steps on Christmas morning. He’s still pretty tentative and prefers to crawl but he’s slowly getting the hang of it!

Here he a few days after Christmas. I didn’t catch the first few times on video…

Now for a blissful week off with Henry and Blake including a trip to Toronto for my dear friends’ Emily & Nick’s wedding!

Blake and Henry after a ski on the lake. With only a month until Blake’s two-week ski trip out West, he’s in full training mode.

Henry and I on a chilly walk. It’s been pretty cold the past two weeks but we have tried to not let that stop us from getting out!

Henry snuggling our friend, Steve’s 190lbs dog, Griffin. He’s a gentle giant for sure!

Henry was trying to lift him up! haha

Henry and I out for our first ski since he was three-months old. It was -18 and man, it was a tough ski! I’m definitely out of shape (especially with my oversized, 31-week belly). Henry has also packed on a few pounds since our last ski and the cold conditions made our glide pretty limited…

Henry was a good sport though. what a trooper!

Play date with my friend Nicole’s sons. When it’s too chilly to go out, you have to find other ways to have fun!

Ada and I on a quiet and sunny snowshoe on Abram Lake.

My bump is definitely growing (and is usually freezing since I can’t do up many of my jackets or they ride up and the lower part of my belly becomes exposed!).

A dog’s paradise – we are certainly lucky to have access to this from our yard.

With cappuccino in hand, I sit in the Billy Bishop airport in Toronto, awaiting my flight back home to Northern Ontario. My good friend and colleague, Megan and I have been in Toronto for the past 5 days for a conference and a course on emergency procedures in obstetrics. It’s the longest I’ve even been away from Henry since he was born and the longest I have been on my own in over a year.

Five. Whole. Days.

For the non-parents out there, this may not seem like something of significance, but it has been like I have entered into a different world. One that I had completely forgotten about. One of utter selfishness. On the plane to Toronto, I actually was able to have a drink and eat a snack WITH THE TRAY DOWN, go to the bathroom ALL BY MYSELF and go through security in record-breaking time. Once in Toronto, Megan and I dinned, shopped and even went to the SPA! Not once did I haul around a diaper bag or think about nap or bedtimes. It was so foreign to just go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted without consideration to anything or anyone other than myself.

Although it has been, in many ways, a wonderful little break, I wouldn’t trade a lifetime of pedicures to go back to my life before becoming a parent. Not a moment has gone by throughout the past few days where I haven’t been thinking about Henry and Blake, wondering how they are doing, what they’re up to and if Blake is remembering to brush Henry’s teeth. On multiple occasions, I have gotten teary-eyed while flipping through my phone, looking at pictures of Henry, and I’m sure Megan is getting sick of me blabbing on about Henry’s new words, how he’s discovered his belly button and so-on. I can hardly wait to get home and squeeze Henry tight.

Our first snowfall in Sioux Lookout – Nov 13th

Snow!

The sunset illuminating our heron carving which was a birthday/anniversary gift from Blake to me

Blake enjoying the sunset at home

Out for a wintery walk

Since his first birthday, Henry has continued to change and grow in many new ways. I know I’ve said this before, but one of the greatest joys of being a parent is watching your child learn and discover new skills right before your eyes. I can almost see the synapses firing and the connections being laid down in his brain.

Recently, his biggest leaps have been in the language department. While Henry has been babbling and saying Dada, Ada, etc. for quite some time, three weeks ago something suddenly clicked in his brain. We were reading before bed, as we do every night when I was pointing at a picture and saying ‘ball’. Henry suddenly went still, looked at my mouth as I repeated the word, then parroted back, ‘ball’. His face lit up in a huge smile as I congratulated him as he continued to repeat this new discovery. Since then, his vocabulary has really taken off. He now says: shoes, socks, hat, hot, toes, hi, Momma, Dada, Ada, done, please, etc. He points out his teeth, eyes, nose, toes and bellybutton when asked. His receptive language sills are also developing, probably more than I can even appreciate. If you ask him if he would like to listen music, he will immediately start dancing. He knows what’s coming when I tell him it’s time to brush his teeth and he will look for Ada if you ask him to find her.

Blake and Henry watching a ski movie first thing in the morning as Blake drinks his coffee

Henry and I out for an early breakfast date. Henry work up at 6am so we went to the local diner for eggs and toast so that Blake could sleep.

At the library!

Wahoo!

Early morning – Henry’s favourite thing is to switch on and off the bedroom light, much to Blake’s chagrin

Henry is also starting to learn the meaning of ‘no’. Just recently, Blake and I were eating dinner while Henry cruised around the kitchen, pulling the cupboards and drawers open and spilling their contents all over the floor – his most favourite pass-time. He then discovered the drawer where we keep Ada’s dog food. Somehow, he managed to open the tupperware and get his chubby hands into the kibble. We discovered him standing up, one hand on the drawer with the other grasping a mittful of dry dog food. Ada was standing nearby, looking perplexed. Then we realized that he had gone as far as sampling the kibble!! Blake said, ‘No, Henry!’. He regarded us with a serious face, shook his head slowly back and forth, mimicking Blake, then dropped the handful of dog food back in the bin. ‘That too!’, said Blake, pointing at Henry’s mouth. Out came a dry kibble which was also returned to the bin! What a character!

Henry playing with Brooks and Hunter – what fun you can have with a cardboard box!

A snowy/icy walk to Cedar Bay

Henry was loving it 🙂

So was Ada 🙂

Sporting the beautiful sweater that my sister knitted – she’s so talented!

Early morning snuggles – almost time to give up the bottle, except that it is the ONLY time he will be still and I love cuddling him up in the morning.

This is how I cook dinner these days… with Henry pulling all of the pots and pans out of the drawers.

Henry’s hilarious pin-curl. I swear he woke up with it like that! I didn’t put curlers in 🙂

Playing with Dad

Our North trip in November – it was very snowy compared to October!

All of the rez dogs outside of the Northern

The Lansdowne Airport

Chilly!!! Look at those pink cheeks!

In the motor department, Henry still hasn’t taken his first steps, but this hasn’t slowed him down. He continues to scoot around the house, climb up and down whatever he can, and crawl in and out of cupboards. Who needs toys when you have a lazy susan!

Blake thinks I’m crazy, but I swear that Henry knows there is a little brother or sister in there! He will crawl up to me, lift my shirt and kiss and snuggle my belly. He only started doing this recently. It’s so cute.

Grocery shopping!

It’s so fun to watch him play independently these days

My attempts at decorating without spending a dime or having anything end up in the landfill

Henry and Brooks with all of Brooks’ blow-up Christmas friends

Brooks pulling Henry in the sled

A lovely afternoon walk on Abram Lake Road with Keith, baby Sailor, Blake (pulling Brooks on a GT), Henry and I

First sleigh ride of the year

Those curls

Playing in the cupboard

Playing at the Hub (which is an Early Years Centre) – a great place to drop in for the afternoon when its chilly out

Henry’s favourite toy at the Hub

Intensely reading about Thomas the train. Notice how Blake also is influencing his reading repertoire by adding the Ski magazine to his pile.

Henry and I at my prenatal clinic, but this time with me as the patient. Henry was amazing and waited patiently for almost an hour. When I got up on the exam table to listen to the baby, he sat there quietly and smiled  while we heard the baby’s heart beat. It was so sweet.

Playing with Cheerios and a (sterile) urine container – so much fun!

As my pregnancy zips along, I am finding it harder and harder to be lifting Henry, getting up and down off the floor, doing squats to pick up various things while Henry’s on my hips, etc. My pregnancy with Henry was such a breeze. I often forgot I was even pregnant! This time around,  my body is definitely protesting a little. These days, I go do bed with an electric heater for my back and often lay awake in the wee-hours as this little life inside of me kicks and squirms around. It is exciting to think about how life with change yet again when we welcome this little sister or brother in the Spring.  At least this time I’ll have more of a mat leave as I hope to take off at least six months to be home with the our two monkeys! We’re going to be busy on Abram Lake!

Our tree!

My failed attempt at being Martha Stewart. Blake and I were both stitches laughing at my poor gingerbread cookies. Don’t worry, I won’t be quitting my day job!

Henry and Ada with the tree

At the Early Years Centre Christmas party for young families. It was so much fun for Henry to play and interact with so many kids.

Waiting for Santa

He came! Merry Christmas!

Two day-old Henry and I sleeping on the couch

As a parent, there is nothing that I fret over more than Henry’s sleep. Maybe this is crazy, but I can feel my anxiety levels rise when he refuses to nap. It’s the first thing I fuss about when Blake and I travel, whether it’s a simple day trip to Dryden for groceries or our monthly trips to the North. I don’t know how I became so sleep obsessed. You may recall a very early post, when Henry was just only about 6 weeks old. I had already started to stress over his bedtime routine!

What a sweet little nugget! Seems like a lifetime ago!

Early morning snuggles when Henry was only a few weeks old

Perhaps the sleep obsession began when I read pediatrician, Marc Weissbluth’s book when Henry was still the size of a cabbage, doing somersaults in utero. The take-away messages I laid down in my memory after anxiously poring over its pages in my quest to find the answers to baby sleep issues were:

1. If your baby misses a nap, he will go straight to Juvy.
2. Your baby MUST sleep in a quiet, dark, motionless sleep environment, if not, you’re a terrible parent.
3. If you let your baby sleep in a carrier/car/in your arms, you’re cursing his sleep habits forever.
4. If you don’t dedicate your life to your baby’s nap schedule, you’re a selfish parent.

Blake begged me to stop reading, but it was too late. Before Henry had even entered the world, I had already become sleep obsessed.

In the early days, Henry would sleep though dogs barking, fire alarms, kids yelling, etc.

When Henry was just over three months, we decided to bite the bullet and sleep train him. Although it was a heartbreaking few nights for me, the result was that Henry truly became a reliable, solid sleeper. I have been truly grateful for that. That being said, just like any child, Henry will still wake at times when he’s teething, sick or, like last night, gets his legs stuck between the rungs of his crib. These occurrences are so infrequent that in a weird way, despite my fatigue, I hardly even mind comforting him in the darkness of the nursery at 2am. It is often the only time he will lay snuggled in my arms as I stroke his hair and smother his face with kisses.

Henry sleeping in the baby carrier on our daily walks when he was a few months old

In Revelstoke, we hiked up Mount Mackenzie weekly. As I worked up a sweat, Henry snoozed away!

There is NOTHING better than a baby snuggled next to you.

Henry snoozing with his Auntie Leah

Lately though, Henry has decided that since he is now the ripe old age of one, he’s all grown up and no longer needs two naps. Over the past two weeks, the usual nap routine of changing Henry, putting him down in his crib and turning off the lights has NOT led to two hours of blissful quiet time for me (read: two hours for me to run around the house, have a shower, cook/prep dinner, do laundry, answer emails, take calls from the Neskantaga nursing station, deal with the endless virtual pile of paperwork that trails any patient encouter, etc. etc…).

Instead, Henry will quietly babble to himself, escalating eventually into screaming and kicking the wall until I give up on him ever sleeping and get him up. When this happens, I become frustrated and stressed, blaming his nap-strike on anything and everything (i.e. It’s too cold/hot in his room! The dog is barking way too much! Blake, you’re stomping too loudly around the house!).

In his crib in Sioux Lookout

Always snuggling with his lambskin!

Sleeping in his tent while we were on vacation in Haida Gwaii

When I find myself getting worked up in this way, my thoughts often go to an online photodocumentary by Swedish photographer, Margus Wennman. Entitled, ‘Where The Children Sleep’, with his series of powerful images, Wennman opens our eyes to the reality of Syrian refugee children’s daily struggles. If your family is anything like ours, dinnertime conversations between Blake and I have frequently centred around Syria, especially in the wake of the Paris attacks. As a mother, my ability to emotionally detach to devastating news of this nature, or any situation adversely affecting a child for that matter, has been forever altered. For example, one day, in our prenatal clinic, I actually burst into tears in the office after seeing a mother struggling with substance abuse who was four-months pregnant. She had her one-year old daughter with her, bright eyed and beautiful, strapped into her stroller. Her mom, drowsy from using street narcotics fed her potato chips and Powerade while her daughter fussed. I felt so deflated and saddened. Her child, was the same age as Henry, yet her daughter’s life would be filled with challenges that Henry will never know.

The weight of these images and stories, regardless if they come from families struggling in Syria or in Sioux Lookout press heavily on me and often bring me to tears as I hold Henry tight. His privilege is so great – he will succeed easily in life with his middle-class status, his white skin, his Canadian citizenship and his male gender, regardless if his misses a nap or two.

Henry presses his face against the small plane’s window. His eyes eyes move in quick saccades as he follows the landscape of never-ending black spruce zooming past his view. We bump along the dirt runway as our small eight-seater plane hurdles towards the end of the runway and the edge of Attawapiskat Lake. Gently, we lift into the air and climb steadily as Henry continues to watch intently. Soon, our view gives way to an impossibly expansive and endless scene of lakes and trees. We have just finished yet another week in Neskantaga First Nation, Henry’s seventh trip to the North, the week after his first birthday.

Henry en route North way back in August

Henry eating a giant green bean from our Sioux Lookout garden while in our apartment in Neskantaga

One of the many perks of my work! This freshly-baked blueberry muffin was delivered to my by one of the kids right to my office 🙂

Henry and I on an early morning walk, back in August when there was still some morning light!

The post office and store

Sunrise

For the next hour as we journey to Thunder Bay, Henry squirms in my lap, twisting around to climb up my now protruding belly to play peek-a-boo with the passenger behind us, pulling at the plane ‘s window shade, reaching up overhead to press the button that turns the overhead light on, straining to grasp the woman’s curly hair in front of us… As usual, he never ceases to be still. Ahead of us, there is a mother with a seven-month old babe who regards us with big blue eyes. Without a peep, she eventually falls asleep, all the while staying absolutely still in her mothers arms. I struggle to remember if Henry was ever like that! Thankfully, my Mom, Joanne, has accompanied us to the North over the past five days and pulls out endlessly entertaining objects from her purse to keep Henry occupied.

As always, our North weeks are challenging in many ways. Getting organized and packed is like preparing for a monthly canoe trip. It often takes me a few days to make the meals and ensure that nothing gets left behind. Our early Monday morning departures are always difficult, as I am on my own getting Henry ready, packing the car and getting to the airport on-time. Each month, I swear to myself that I can’t do this much longer. It’s such a struggle!

However, once we’re North, my sentiments always change. Despite our small quarters and the extreme weather (i.e. bugs, cold, etc.), I really do enjoy my monthly clinics in the North. This time, it was extra special having my mom join us. As I plodded through my daily clinics, I never once felt guilty or worried about Henry. I knew he was happy and in good hands and that my mom didn’t mind playing with the pots and tupperware in the kitchen for the millionth time, or peek-a-boo behind the door for an hour straight. I am certainly very fortunate to have family and a husband who supports me to do this work, and I often wonder, even if Henry will never remember these trips, will it inform who he becomes in a small way?

Henry and Mom preparing for a chilly walk last week in Neskantaga

Henry and I entertaining ourselves in the Thunder Bay Airport on our 2.5 hr layover coming home from Neskantaga

Henry making his escape!

As any parent can relate, one of my favourite things about watching Henry grow up is constantly wondering what he will be like or what kind of a person he will become. Over this past year, he has changed in so many ways and has definitely developed a unique personality. Last weekend, in celebration of Henry’s first birthday, we were joined by many of our close friends, neighbours and family. As usual, Henry was the life of the party, displaying all his ‘tricks’ in full force. He is so interactive these days! He loves to shake his head back and forth with a huge grin on his face, he will ‘dance’ to any type of music or singing, bopping his cute little bum up and town while nodding his head to the beat, and he rivals the queen with his constant waving to anyone who will notice (he especially likes to do this while fellow passengers exit or enter the plane). Henry loves to high-five, brush your hair, brush your teeth, ‘share’ his food with or give open mouth kisses to any part of your face he can make contact with. I love watching him grow and develop new skills like learning parts of his face (he can now point to his nose when asked) or throwing a ball back and forth. There are many traits that I see from Blake in him, especially when he spends much of his time fitting things together, putting lids on things, building blocks, etc. He has this hilarious expression when he accomplishes something he’s proud of as he balls his hands up, pulls them to his hips, sticks out his chest and smiles anytime he succeeds at something. It’s so cute!

The spread at Henry’s birthday

Everyone loves balloons!

The blueberry birthday cake that I made for Henry. He loves, loves, loves blueberries.

Hunter & Brooks 🙂

With Uncle Johnny

Happy birthday!!

Dig in!

Yum!

With Auntie Meghan at the party

Henry and Blake- Henry loves when you ‘whistle’ with the beer bottle. He also loves beer. A lot. I’m in trouble!

I still can’t get over how much Henry and Blake look alike. Maybe the next one will look like me!?

Karla & Henry and the stuffed monkey that Auntie Meghan and Uncle Johnny bought for him for his birthday!

Sweet Sailor snuggles

Reflecting back over the past twelve months as I new parent, I honestly can’t remember what I ever did with my time before Henry was born. I have loved and hated so many moments. There have been endless challenges, tears and times of frustration and anger, yet constant joy all mixed together. We have been incredibly supported by amazing friends and family who have babysat at a moment’s notice, provided a listening ear and much needed hugs, and given us sage advice that has helped us through this year. You know who you are and I can’t thank you enough! We are so very fortunate.

As I write close this blog, I am tucked into bed with Ada at my side. My belly rests on the edge of my laptop, moving about as the growing life inside of my seems to constantly kick and squirm. We’re still unsure the gender, but I have a growing suspicion that this little one will be exactly the same and just as busy as Henry! I am both terrified and excited all at the same time to welcome him or her to this world and to do this all over again 🙂

Back in the beginning of October, I had taken Henry to work with me for a few days. He then got SO SO sick. Blake was away in Thunder Bay so Henry and I had a rough, sleepless week. He wouldn’t eat anything. This is when I finally let him go wild with his spoon and his smoothie in attempt to get him to eat something. I think this was the only time he was happy that week!

The day we were set to leave to head South to visit family in early October, I was emptying the dishwasher. I was busy doing something, and before I knew it, Henry had managed to remove the entire bottom rack of the dishwasher and was pushing it around the kitchen! What a rascal!

Playing with the Ark at Nana’s in Dundas

Visiting with Leah, Rosie, Luc, Mom & Dad in Guelph

Still a bit sick, but definitely happier

Snoozing in the car

With Grandpa Steve

After our visit in Toronto, Dundas and Guelph, we met up with Blake and headed to Kingston for Thanksgiving!

Playing with the cousins – Henry is lucky to be surrounded with such energetic young ladies!

Sitting in the highchair that was Henry’s great, great-grandfather’s.

Henry at his Kingston birthday party – thanks Nana!

Blake trying to entice Henry to eat some cake. Oddly enough, he didn’t want to eat it! Too sweet maybe?

At the pumpkin patch with Nana, Poppa, Aunt Kim, Uncle Christian, cousins Holly & Adriana in Kingston

So many pumpkins!

Henry ‘helping’ to carve the pumpkins at Nana & Poppa’s

Blake and Uncle Darren being kids again

Cousin Charlotte holding baby ‘Hetty’ as she calls Henry. I’m pretty sure he outweighs her!

So much action!

Playing in Nana & Poppa’s backyard

With Uncle Darren

On the way home back to Sioux Lookout

Back at home, Blake was anxious to get Henry used to his ski gear for the upcoming Winter…

It didn’t go as planned…! 🙂

A fall afternoon

Playing in the yard, trying to make the most of the nice weather before the snow

Sioux Lookout is always full of great events, like this Church Ladies’ Bazaar & Tea!

Complete with tiny sandwiches without crusts 🙂

Blake brushing Henry’s teeth before bed, which he always finds to be hilarious

A few weekends ago, I was trying to get the garden ready for winter. I was digging and pulling weeds nearby while Henry was content to play on his own in the grass. What a big difference from when I put the garden in back in May. He was barely mobile then and had to play in his playpen outside while I planted.

This was right after he crawled over to the garden and ate a giant handful of dirt. Lovely!

Digging in the dirt.

Henry at his friend, Marius’ Halloween birthday party!

The costume didn’t last long…

At the Halloween market in Sioux Lookout

Shopping at Johnny’s on Halloween!

Poor guy had a cold (again) on Halloween. He tolerated wearing his costume for about 5 minutes 🙂

This past week, Henry has had another cold. He is so so fussy when this happens, but is so content if I take him outside and walk. So we have been doing a lot of this over the past few days!

Henry this morning – I found him in his room IN his toy box!

At the library! Yay!